I’ve been thinking a lot about unrequited love recently. Mainly because I’m watching Orange Is The New Black and there seems to be a big reoccurring theme throughout, albeit mostly gurl on gurl. But whether gurl on gurl or boy on boy or boy on girl on boy, it’s surprising how much people are confused of unrequited love and what it actually is. Unrequited attraction.
Unrequited love in itself is actually a big fat oxymoron because love is what is felt when the attraction is mutal, reciprocated, given back. No? Instead of thinking and feeling: I love you, you make me happy and I want to make you happy too. Instead you feel: I love you and I am angry that you don’t want to love me back.
We are kidded by teen rom coms that show girl meets boy, boy rejects girl, girl has transformation and suddenly boy falls in love with girl. Or boy meets girl, girl treats boy as friend, boy shows he’s a man, girl falls for boy. Unfortunately, a lot of people, though it is fairly obviously false, take this advice when they feel they want to win the affections of somebody that really, if they’re not loving you back, you’re probably wasting your time on.
But I’m not totally slating rom coms, because 10 Things I hate About You certainly taught us to change for yourself and yourself only. Julia Stiles became less of a hard pan faced bitch in order to swoon Heath Ledger, he himself didn’t change all too much because let’s face it HE WERE PERFECTION. But then you got stuff like Zack Morris just getting his act together and growing up a bit to get jiggy with Kelly, and then there’s Cluless’ Cher who just lowered her high standards and opted for incest (Hey if a 25 yr old Paul Rudd was your stepbrother you would too).
But yeah the underlying message in my garble is that basically, if you have an unrequited attraction to someone, the key to getting over them or indeed, under them, is self improvement. Take that time to have a step back and reassess what you want a person to see in YOU.
If that means you want to build your self confidence, go join a club, learn a new skill. If you want to lose weight to feel more confident in your body, join a gym, go for a run or a join a sports team. Chances are the time you take out to really look at yourself, you’ll discover/rediscover what you love about yourself. And as cliché as it sounds, when you find out what you love about yourself, it makes it a whole lot easier for someone to see that about you and love you too.
Or if that soppy advice is just too impossible to read from all the cringing, if you try and better yourself for your own satisfaction, you’ll probably find that the bitch be pining and you be dining on all the other pussy anyways. See, I told you too much Orange Is The New Black. Also how much do you love that someone out there actually made the above photo. All soppy credit entirely to them, wherever you are you romantic soul.