I went to a posh restaurant and drank champagne from a tit

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I got a PR opportunity to try the delectable brunch menu at Mayfair’s stylish and swish 34 restaurant. The brunch menu on offer was the newly released Champagne Lovers Lunch which pays homage to the legendary supermodel Kate Moss and her 40th birthday plus 25 years as the one of the biggest faces (and smallest waists) of fashion. The lunch commemorates the occasions by offering unlimited (i know right, fools!) champagne alongside anything from the brunch/lunch menus, and it is so quaintly served into a specially designed glass which was molded from a cast of  no other than Kate’s left breast.

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I thought if I’m going to drink champagne out of a boob I might as well do it in style and DW agreed. We slunk into the restaurant away from the Mayfair rain and once the waiting staff ferried away my Primark’s finest mac into the cloakroom, were seated at a quaint (this is not the last time I will sue this word) table by the window.

Now I’ve eaten in upper class restaurants before, and I’m using the phrase ‘upper class’ because that’s excatly what 34 is. It is a restaurant born from old money and fed on new. The decor reflects that of a 1930s cruise liner, complete with not rustic style, more mystic style open kitchen. The waiting staff I have to say were most pleasant, their suggestions on what to choose from the menu and their helpfulness in making sure I was well and truly sloshed by 3pm was sensational. I opted for the lobster omelette because i doubt I’ll ever have the ingredients just lying around to whip one up myself on a lazy Saturday morning, followed by the passion fruit sorbet which oh my, was the dream.

steak

Now I’m no country bumpkin, but I was so aware that I was drunk in a posh restaurant that in the end after DW had stopped creaming Bearnaise sauce all over ‘the best steak of his life’ and fighting back tears over the fig tarte tatin, suggested that it would probably be a good time to leave…so I stood up, downed my glass and headed out the door.

Hey Kate Moss was originally from Croydon right? Where’s the glass in that?

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One thought on “I went to a posh restaurant and drank champagne from a tit

  1. Pingback: Get the Layered London Life | When North Meets South

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